


Yossarian Lives (And Hates His Job)

by necromorphs



Category: Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied Relationships, One Shot, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7616380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necromorphs/pseuds/necromorphs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really, how many customers do you have to piss off to lose a job?<br/>(A lot when your boyfriend owns the place.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yossarian Lives (And Hates His Job)

"What the hell is wrong with my coffee?"

Yossarian slowly emerged from the refuge under the cash register to look at his tenth disgruntled customer this morning. Honestly, how much did a man have to fuck up to lose a job? 

"I don't know. Did out try turning it off and turning it back on?" He asked. 

The woman's face went from red to purple and she slammed the cup down with such force that Yossarian newly stacked coffee cup display toppled over. 

He sighed at length, as loud and obnoxiously as possible. "Ma'am, no offense, but you know the world is going to end soon, right?"

"What?"

"Oh, yes. Very soon. Very soon indeed. So you'll forgive me if I don't give a shit about your coffee."

"I'm never coming back here again. You just lost a customer!" 

Yossarian smiled sweetly and wiggled his fingers at her. "The door is the same place where you left it, sweetheart." 

She stomped out, slamming the door behind her, and Yossarian sat back in the sanctuary of Under The Register to text Milo. 

[To: Milo ♡ 9:08am]  
Just pissed off another one am I fired yet? 

[From: Milo ♡ 9:10am]  
Yoyo, that's not really something to be proud of. And no, you're not fired. I'm not firing you because that's exactly what you want. And because Dunbar hangs around there and buys a bunch of coffee. 

[To Milo ♡ 9:13am]  
:((

Yossarian sighed when the bell rang, signalling the opening door. He stood, put on his biggest, creepiest smile, and stood. 

"Welcome to Hell Cafe."


End file.
